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about

This song I wrote when I was 19 and is the oldest song on the record. Duncan Trussell talks a lot about “emotional vampires” and I was listening to his podcast a lot at the time, and thinking about being in my head and resenting everyone around me all at once. The song is about projection and anxiety

lyrics

I am living with vampires in my room
They are startin' to freak me out
I should be gettin’ my angel wings here soon
I am dyin’ to finally be alone

Bought a bucket of flowers I could burn
Kept a couple to give to you
Still deciding which language I should learn
I am dyin’ to finally be alone

And you know that it’s exactly what it seems
I’m just paranoid and waiting

I am melting my rings and chandeliers
I am running for president
I am saving my true self for the day
When I can vanish and finally be alone

And I am trying to Frenchkiss my concepts
Show the mirror my photograph
Someone’s pulling my ribs out from my side
I am dyin’ to know if it’s me?

And you know that I’m too terrified to think
That I’m just angry and projecting

It’s far too convenient that they’d be
Locked in every room just waiting

Yeah, I highly doubt that (but I highly doubt most anything)

I am living with vampires in my room
In the shower and in my car
I am starting to think that it’s a joke
“The Idea of Trying to Be Alone”

I am living with vampires in my room
I am trying to catch my breath
I am starting to get sick of the sun
And I am dying to stop dying

//

credits

from Learning How to Swim, released November 12, 2021

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Mackin The Destroyer Los Angeles, California

One time I snuck out of summer camp to see The Postal Service 10th Anniversary show at The Greek. I bought a grilled cheese and a beer with a fake ID. I ate, drank, and cried alone. It fucking rocked.

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