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about

This song I wrote about a fight I was having with a close friend whose feelings I had hurt. I had to leave him alone and give him space and it was really fucking hard for me, but it was the kindest thing to do. I also wrote most of it on this cheap nylon string guitar I’d gotten on a trip to Peru. I wrote it during the holidays while dog sitting at this couple’s house in LA, an emotional season anyways and also being in my home city, but isolated from my friends.

lyrics

Waitin’ for a call
I think you got my number
Tally the love in retrospect

Askin’ for a friend
Are you doin’ okay?
I’m throwin’ my keys across the fence

So call me when you get this
I just wanna talk

I’m feelin’ like a kid
I don’t know how to reach ya
I hope I see ya at the show

And I’ll dig through the trash
Lookin’ for confirmation
I’ll bring it in case that you still go

So call me when you get this
I just wanna talk
I can’t help if I’m helpless
Oh, I just wanna talk

AND THE HEART GOES BACKWARDS
NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU THAT
LOVE CAN BE FORGOT
AND YOU KNOW THE STILL HURTS
SO DOES MOVING FORWARD
TELL ME WHICH IS WHICH
'CAUSE I THINK I FORGOT

I only ever stay
Until the intermission
It’s too hard to watch a good thing end

We collide and we part
Like nuclear fission
And the broken glass just cuts my hands
Again and again

So call me when you get this
I just wanna talk
Am I selfish or selfless?
Yeah, I just wanna talk

AND THE HEART GOES BACKWARDS
NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU THAT
LOVE CAN BE FORGOT
AND YOU KNOW THE STILL HURTS
SO DOES MOVING FORWARD
TELL ME WHICH IS WHICH
'CAUSE I THINK I FORGOT

If only I could talk (to you)


(Yeah)

//

credits

from Learning How to Swim, released November 12, 2021

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Mackin The Destroyer Los Angeles, California

One time I snuck out of summer camp to see The Postal Service 10th Anniversary show at The Greek. I bought a grilled cheese and a beer with a fake ID. I ate, drank, and cried alone. It fucking rocked.

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